A(nother!) love-ly reminder …

Hiya lovely πŸ™‚

This week’s audio is all about love and really, it needs no introduction. If you ever needed a reminder that you are loved, treasured and adored more than you can ever possibly comprehend, this is the episode for you …

If the audio player isn’t working or you’d prefer to download the mp3, click here.

And now it’s over to you …

How does it make you feel to hear me suggest that God loves you as much as your best friend or lover?

love-el

P.S. Did you hear? It’s nearly my birthday πŸ˜€ (I love birthdays!) and I have a special invitation for you. Click here to find out more.

 

On squalling seagulls, wasps & orange slugs!

AKA “The Everything Is Spiritual” Edition

Hiya my lovely πŸ™‚ How have you been? (Tell me in the comments. I’d love to hear all about it.)

And welcome to this week’s audio …

If you can’t use the audio player above, click here to download the mp3 and then remember, come back and tell us what little waves and hellos from God came into your day …

You know me … I love to hear it all πŸ˜€

love-el

Ignoring, not caring or something else?

Hiya lovely πŸ™‚ Happy Sunday!

And welcome to this week’s audio. Inspired by God on Mute and my children’s breakfasts. Well there’s a combination eh?!? πŸ˜‰

If the audio player isn’t working or you’d prefer to download the mp3, click here.

And when you’re ready, come back and tell us all what you think. I can’t wait to hear all about it!

love-el

Ready to add a divine appointment to your diary?

Hiya lovely πŸ™‚ Happy Sunday!

And welcome to this week’s audio. Inspired by my son’s drum lesson yesterday, of all things (and yes, I got myself some ear plugs too!)

If the audio player isn’t working or you’d prefer to download the mp3, click here.

And when you’re ready, come back and tell us all about how the divine appointments play out this week. I can’t wait to hear all about it!

love-el

A year from now?

(If you’d prefer to listen to this post instead of read it and the audio player isn’t working or showing up, click here to listen online instead.)

A year ago? How about an hour ago?!? Seriously, how many times do we sit and procrastinate and check Facebook one last time before finally doing that thing that we really told ourselves we wanted to do all along? Or maybe that’s just me? πŸ˜‰

That said, one really cool thing about procrastination is that it allows time for all sorts of coincidences (God-incidences I like to call them) to come out to play. This morning it started with a quote on Facebook, swiftly followed by a nudge on a blog post and before you can say, “kettle’s boiled” bam! An idea.

So anyway, I was reading said blog post and at the very end there was a challenge …

What do you really want more of in your life? Will you dare to say it loud?

And the irony is, it was that blog post and the writer’s experience of trying to be this Jesus person who looked like other women at church that further cemented my thing I want more of because you know what?

There is nothing I want more than to see you be you, to help you step into the person you were created to be and to be that glorious being totally and unwaveringly.

Because you’re fab. He made you and he doesn’t need a do over.

God’s poem. His work of art. That creation so treasured and precious that he can’t help but post photos of you on Godsbook and share it with all his friends.

“Hey, come and look what she did today. Isn’t she lovely? I just adore that child.”

You think I’m kidding or being daft? No way. You are adored. Just as you are.

And there is nothing I want more of in this life of mine than to remind you of that, inspire you to really know and feel it to the very core of your being, every single day.

More love, less shoulds.

Because when you’re being you, hanging out with a God in a way that is true to the person he created you to be, what other people do or don’t do becomes largely irrelevant.

I have a friend who likes to go with her daughter on shopping dates. They have a blast, a right old giggle. Me? Not so much. I prefer baking cakes or taking my daughter for a hot chocolate in Costa.

We’re both mothers with daughters. Whose relationship is right?

You got it (clever you, I knew you would!) Both of us are right of course. It’s not about what you do. It’s about spending time together.

And those instincts we have as parents to want to love on and be around our children, God put those there and, made in his image, it stands to reason that he has those desires too.

He doesn’t really care how, he just wants to hang out with you.

Which brings us full circle to the idea of starting, right now, today. Because there is no right or proper time to hang out with God in the same way that there is no right and correct time for me to give my children a hug (although I’m pretty sure my eldest would prefer me not to decide that in the middle of the school yard!)

If today is the day, why not come and join us in the playground? I can not wait to show you around!

love-el

P.S. What does your ‘God-sized dream’ look like? Tell me in the comments. I’d love to hear all about it. πŸ™‚

Dear Mummy God …

It’s Mother’s Day here in the UK and so this week’s audio links in with that and something I shared today in church.

So without further ado, here is today’s audio:

If the audio player isn’t working or you’d prefer to download the mp3, please click here.

And as ever, come back and tell us how you get on when you’ve had a little play.

love-el

P.S. If you’d like to hear the full talk that inspired today’s audio, click here to download it. Apologies that the sound is a little patchy in places. Live recording and all that jazz! πŸ˜‰

What do you do when God feels far away?

Woo hoo! Welcome to March. New month, new book. I can’t wait!

This month it’s God on mute by Pete Grieg. You don’t have to read along of course. The weekly audios will each stand alone, with no need for you to have read the book. But if you fancied playing too, now you know how to do so! πŸ˜‰

But first, the this week’s audio …

If the audio player isn’t working for you or you’d prefer to download the mp3, click here.

Questions? Comments? Observations?

love-el

When dreaming turns to despair and a messy, painful kind of love.

I was fast asleep, enjoying the start of what promised to be a fab dream.

I dreamed that I was getting ready for bed. My fella had snuck up behind me, kissed my neck, lovely. So I went to the bathroom, calling back to him on my way, chit-chatting, all was well with the world.

“Oooh, you’ve run yourself a bath? Very nice.”

I glanced in the bath and realised that no, this was the kid’s bath water from earlier, we just hadn’t pulled the plug out yet.

And then I saw something pink in the bottom of the bath. My son.

Suddenly the dream turned to horror. I grabbed him and shouted to my husband and I’m filled with utter despair.

And then I woke up.

And I’m at that place in between where you suddenly realise that it was just a dream so you’re flooded with relief but, at the same time, it just happened so it feels real and you’re beside yourself.

You can’t think.

Eventually though, your breathing slows down and the thoughts come crashing in.

So after getting up and checking on all three of the children, whispering to God in my head to please look after them, that I love them so much, please let them be ok, I laid back in bed wondering what it all meant.

Because dreams have got to mean something don’t they?

If nothing else they’re like a reflection of the party that goes on inside your head when the thinking is shut off.

But what does that say about me as a parent?!?

(Thankfully it’s only now as I’m awake and writing this that I have that realisation. If I’d have thought about that at 2am I’d probably still be crying now!)

I kept replaying the scene over in my mind and as I did so I noticed something:

My son is five years old, nearly six. And he’s a big lad. Tall. The Michael that I pulled from the bath in my dream was a baby. It was him, but it was him as a baby.

That awful ache in my heart is still there. Thinking about it makes me cry and pray and beg.

But honestly? That it was him as a baby also made me feel a whole lot better. Because he didn’t drown as a baby. I’d just checked on him in his room. He’s okay.

So what am I meant to do with this dream? Like, what was the point of it?

And that’s when I thought of you. And this place. Because at 2am I felt hugely compelled to get up immediately and write.

Writing this now some 8 hours later I’m feeling slightly uneasy.

Because I didn’t get up. Instead I lay in bed thinking stuff over. What would have been the result had I followed that nudge and got up and wrote?

Only God knows.

I know that at 2am I had thoughts enough for at least three blog posts but is there something else that I missed out on? Obviously I really hope not. All I can do now is say sorry and move on.

(Between you and I, I added a P.S. to that sorry that went something along the lines of ‘if it was something really cool and important for someone, can you pop it in my head now anyway please?’)

Us women are very good at feeling guilty, even more so than the men it seems. That’s why one of my resolves this year (and one that clearly I needed reminding of!) is to say sorry and move on. No more of the incessant beating oneself up. It doesn’t undo stuff and it doesn’t help!

But that wasn’t the thought I ended on.

The final thought I remember as I drifted off to sleep was one of God’s love. But not the nicey nice, trite sounding ‘God loves you’ kind of love that feels sickly sweet but empty.

This was a love that hurts.

The kind of hurt that you feel in your heart when life (or a dream) forces you to deal with losing someone you love.

That love isn’t neat or sweet or nice or red hearts and flowers.

It’s raw. And painful. And messy.

It bubbles up inside of you, uncontrollably.

And when it turns out to be just a dream, it changes you.

Leaves you feeling thankful for another day.

Sees you giving your son an extra kiss on the head or really looking at him, seeing him properly. And reminds you just how much you love him.

And that love, that ache, that yearning in your heart? That’s how God feels when he thinks about you.

He’s not sat on a big ol’ throne up in heaven with a big stick like some Triton, scowling at you and barking threats.

He’s there right next to you, stroking your hair, whispering your name into the sunrise.

Yearning. Aching. Loving you.

Maybe you knew that already, in your head, but just maybe you needed reminding today?

I see love notes, scattered all over the universe, especially for you.

Reminding you every day that he loves you.

But life is busy and it’s easy to miss them so I’m going to start exploring those notes via a 5 day photo project. It starts later this week.

If you’re signed up via email you don’t have to do anything, it’ll come straight to your inbox. (And if you’re not and would like to play too, click here.)

This has been the most uncomfortable post I’ve ever written (although after that 2am compulsion I couldn’t chicken out at the last hurdle!) and now I’m lost for words. I don’t have a neat, tidy succinct ending for you.

Love is messy like that I guess.

However, Ronnie Freeman says it beautifully in his song, God SpeakingΒ so until the next time, I’m going to leave you in his capable hands.

Love El x