So if you’ve been playing along, you’ll know that yesterday was a bit of a wobbly day. I woke up feeling pretty, hmmm, there’s no other word for it than ‘meh’ and it did not get any better until I acknowledged the feeling out loud.
That’s so not like me, I decided to poke at it with a stick a little and see what came out.
The short answer … good old, unexciting and totally unsexy uncertainty, that’s what.
Triggered by the shootings in Tunisia (the victims were having fun on holiday. I’m looking forward to going on holiday soon. Very loose connection but it doesn’t take much!) and fuelled by a fab idea I had for a whole other novel to the one I’m currently working on (I simultaneously both love and hate it when that happens!) my poor old brain did not stand a chance.
And (usually) ever the optimist, it left me feeling pretty shaky. (And yes, I know how lame that sounds, having those two massively contrasting events alongside each other. I never said that my brain was sensible!)
Everything I had planned for these little happiness hits this week felt contrived and silly (and not a good kind of silly!) and I felt totally lost.
And that’s when it hit me ….
Sometimes you have to give up the plans and the commitments and the expectations and just go with it.
Sometimes it needs you to go outside in the fresh air, to walk barefoot in the sand and to just be, for no other reason than to revel in how alive you really are.
Today is a gift.
And yes, it is a gift that I would love to have keep on giving tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that, but none of us knows just how many todays we have left so enjoy this day and all the wonder and delight it offers.
Throw out the lists.
Allow yourself space and time and freedom to breath really slowly and deeply. Smile. And love.
Because, like we said yesterday, when all else fails, love is the one thing this world can not get too much of. So don’t be shy about spreading it around a little.